The Lull Before the Storm

Holy mother of Cows! It's been almost a year! Well alot has happened since my last post..

In a nutshell:

1. I started on a fixed term project with an MNC in August last year, my contract ending Aug this year.
2. We cancelled Canada trip coz we couldn't get Nia to sleep over at my folks w/out me there.. and by the time we tried to get her a Visa it was a little too late. I know DC is pissed, havent heard from him since.
3. Our bunny Marbles died in January this year.
4. My BiL (hubz brother) passed away March this year.
5. I'm expecting No.2 at the end of June this year!
6. Hubz started on a new job January this year and hating it every single day (not the job but the people aspect of it, well some people)

Yes, dramaful times..
What I did not expect was to get preggers again so soon, despite hubz reminders on a daily basis that I'm not THAT young, that I should get it all over & done with as soon as possible. I, on the other hand, at the beginning of the pregnancy, was rid with guilt. That I'm robbing Nia of the attention and undivided love that was there exclusively for her once the new baby comes. Is this common among mums when they get pregnant second, third time around? I initially thought that it was probably a passing phase and I'll get over it, plus also I was still breastfeeding Nia, so I guess I was reluctant and nervous about the fact that I had to wean her off in preparation of latching another one on. How would Nia feel?
Anyways, I continued to breastfeed up to early second trimester, although in between I've tried a couple of methods to wean Nia off (unsuccessfully, of course), until my gynae told me to stop breastfeeding completely as he said since I had early labour scare at 30 weeks with Nia, continuing to breastfeed during pregnancy is not advisable for me, as it may lead to the same thing with this pregnancy. According to him breastfeeding makes your brains produce oxytocin which is the same hormone that helps contract the womb after delivery (hence they say breastfeeding helps you get into shape faster! Yea, right!). If I continue to produce oxytocin throughout my pregnancy, given my past record, it is plausible that I will have an early labour, this time it may not just be a false alarm like the last time!
So that day I went home and had a conversation with Nia. Actually I had conversations with her about it the whole day, that she can no longer breast feed, that she is now a big girl, she was gonna be a che-che soon, she has to drink milk from glass/bottle like the rest of the kids her age. It was SO difficult (for me) that I cried myself to sleep that night, but the same night Nia went to bed after a bottle of formula instead of breast milk. And it has been that way since.
Thank God for that.
I am now 34 weeks.. few more weeks to go before we hold our little girl in our hands.. Yes, it's a girl! Ha ha, so much for all the naming and planning, huh? We do know God will only give us what we deserve, and a girl is an absolute joy.. for now.. let's not think about the teenage years now, shall we? Allow me the next 10 years to prep myself for it..

Mama's a fulltimer now..

I've been lazy these past couple of weeks. Been at home with Nia all day long and super occupied, if you have a toddler, or had one before, I'm sure you know what I mean! So, yes, I've been fulltime mummy these past couple of weeks, since my job was made redundant, and am hoping that will come to an end soon, I mean, the fulltime mummy bit. I really rather be a working mummy who comes back to an excited, loving, manja little girl than staying at home with her 24/7 that I can't even go to bathroom without her in tow! Grrr..

Yes, obviously I've been cooking alot too but have just been too busy to post anything up. The only time I could go online is when Nia's napping, like now. So time's pretty limited and I use it wisely. So to speak. Huh. Been trying to finish reading 'The Queen and I' by Sue Townsend. Hillarious. Can't put it down. But then when Nia's up, can't even pick it up! So, you know, I really got to prioritise, update recipe, or read.. at the end, the latter always win.

Anyways, last weekend, on Friday night, we sent Nia to her grandparents' place, to get her use to staying over there without us, of course. After which hubz and I had a nice dinner in PJ, came home and watched DVD and he was reading till 5am, thinking that he could sleep in till about 10am. But what do you know, at 8am my father called saying Nia hasn't slept the whole night, refusing food & milk and couldn't stop crying. So the two of us rushed off to my folks' place. She was so excited the moment she saw me, rushed to me and kept pointing at my chest. Which means,"milk, mummy, now!"

After the milk session, she was her usual self again, running and dancing, climbing the stairs up & down, and finally ate something. Sigh. How are we going to leave her behind for 10 whole days while we are away?! I'm so worried now. And confused. Ma says maybe I should wean her off breastmilk then it won' t be so difficult on her. But, would that really make a difference? I don't know. I really don't know what I should do. I am not ready to wean her off just yet. I enjoy our private moments of lying together for a feed and playing all the silly games that just mummy and Nia gets to play. Sigh.

Anyways, I'm still going to send her to my folks' this weekend and next and next until she gets used to it. I know we should have done this earlier but then, hey, we enjoy having her around with us on our weekends, it would be so dull without the pitter-pattering of her tiny feet all around the house, excaliming "heyy" when she bumps into you as if she's surprised to see you there, and all the rest of her antics. But still, she needs to get used to staying over my folks otherwise our Canada trip's aint gonna happen, eh?!

We will miss you, Lulu..

I have been putting this off for the past 2 weeks hoping by the time I'd have write this it will be a happy news, but, alas!

Let me start at the beginning..

As you know, our bunnies, Marbles and Lulu do not get along. At all. On a couple of occasions, Marbles chased Lulu around the house and once managed to corner her and was pounding on her until she ran off. The second time this happened, they were both outside the house and hubz interfered and rescued Lulu from Marbles' snarls! I was a bit worried that Lulu might have gotten hurt but hubz checked her for bite marks or bleeding but there were none, so we left it at that.

Two weeks later we noticed she was getting less and less active and was slowing down on her food. We also noticed her left eye was swollen, so we took her to the vet. The vet turned her upside down, pushed her head up and asked us, "Did you notice this?" pointing at a patch of raw skin with puss oozing out of it when he pressed. Imagine our horror??! We obviously didn't. Hubz who grooms her so often has missed it because underneath her chin is not an area he brushes, and bunnies don't usually allow you to touch their face that way.

Apparently there were two nasty bites on her face, one on her neck underneath her chin and another at the side of her face, which has become septic. The one on her neck has become worst causing the hair to fall off as the puss built up underneath her skin. The vet said he'd need to surgically remove the affected skin & tissue and explained we'd have to dilligently clean her wound morning and night if we want to keep her. He also explained in length the limited medications and antibiotic available to treat bunnies, making us realise, how fragile these little creatures really are. (Which also explains why they breed as they do, doesn't it?) He gave us antibiotic to be administered daily and asked us to clean her twice a day with salt water.

I must say that hubz was the one who really took care of her, waking up so early in the morning to clean her before we go to work and cleaning her once more the moment he gets home.

Here's Lulu, healing nicely..

Last Saturday we took her to the vet again to get more antibiotics and get them to clean her wound. We came out of there beaming as the vet said she seem to be holding well, her raw skin does not look so raw anymore, her appetite is insatiable, she eats so much daily! Just like any 6 mth old bunny would, I guess. The vet said since she's a fighter, we should do all we could to help her. We were delighted.

By Monday evening however, we noticed she has not eaten much, so we took her to the vet again to get her cleaned, and this time the vet noticed one of her forelegs was red, apparently septasimia. Yesterday I got home early to take her to the vet again to get them to clean her up and I noticed both her legs were covered in red spots. The vet said to me, "You should just let her go". She has not been eating since Monday and although her neck is getting better the septasimia seems to be spreading. I called hubz asking him to call the vet to make a decision. I can't bring myself to tell the vet to put her to, you know.

So, today is the day Lulu is going.

I do not want to go to the vet to face this, at the same time, I can't let hubz go through this on his own. Me knees go weak when I think about it. But I guess, it's better for her than to continue to suffer.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850

Goodbye Lulu.

My Rat Girl

I finally found some information on Nia's Chinese Zodiac sign just to see if I could make sense of it vis-à-vis Nia's behaviour and personality. This is what I found:

Chinese Zodiac - Rat
Personality
Occupying the 1st and most prominent position on the Chinese Zodiac, the Rat symbolizes such character traits as wit, imagination and curiosity. Rats have keen observation skills and with those skills they’re able to deduce much about other people and other situations. Overall, Rats are full of energy, talkative and charming but they have a tendency to become aggressive.

The Rat Infant
Rat babies love to be loved and cuddled. When they are young, Rat babies tend to depend tremendously on their parents, but later in life they develop natural leadership qualities. During their baby years, Rats mature slowly, but gain momentum as they become toddlers. Eventually, they begin to exhibit active mentalities, so, in the early years, plenty of sleep is necessary. Rat toddlers tend to want to do everything before their time and in the process there will be many a frustrated cry and tantrum. In school, the young Rats are eager to learn. It is then, too, that Rats begin collecting things, and like to fill their bedrooms with pebbles, shells and keepsakes of every kind. Generally, young Rats are smart little people who are artistic and literary students. They are well-rounded and many of them do well in sports, too. Being born in the first sign of the Chinese horoscope motivates these children to be pioneers and gives them a need to be first in line.

Holy cow! The toddler bit is very true! Nia does get frustrated when she's unable to do something that she isn't, shouldn't, be able to do just yet. For example, just yesterday she threw tantrums for not being able to put on her sneakers on her own! I mean, she can't even stand steadily with both feet on the ground and still wobbles when she walks, how in the world is she supposed to put on her shoes by herself? I noticed she does not give up easily as well, for example the shoes incident, first she tried putting them on while standing, then she sat down and tried and tried and tried, then she went on all fours and tried and tried, and finally started crying after a good half an hour of trying! At least she has patience (which I sorely lack), that's a good thing, no?
Hmmm...how interesting.

Music of the year - 2009

Yea, so here we go again.. my favourite singer/band of this year ~ that I cannot get enough of ~ is The Script. If you have been on a different planet or under some tempurung, you are forgiven for not knowing who they are! :oP
I particularly ((HEART)) the lead singer Danny O'Donoghue's voice ~ gosh, how do I explain it, it's so lunak, yes, that's the perfect word for it, I can't think of a suitable one in English, sorry about that. Plus, it also helps that Danny is oh-so-cute! I know, I know I shouldn't still sound like a 15-year-old, but I say it as it is, he is cute, what else can I say? Nah, see for yourself (pix from MTV.com)! Please don't ask which one is Danny, isn't it OBVIOUS? Duh?!

I admit, I've always had a thing for boys who wear their hearts on their sleeves, but ONLY in singers/musicians.. I don't think I could live with such a boy, but I love listening to them croon.. hmmmmm *off to la-la land now*