The Lull Before the Storm

Holy mother of Cows! It's been almost a year! Well alot has happened since my last post..

In a nutshell:

1. I started on a fixed term project with an MNC in August last year, my contract ending Aug this year.
2. We cancelled Canada trip coz we couldn't get Nia to sleep over at my folks w/out me there.. and by the time we tried to get her a Visa it was a little too late. I know DC is pissed, havent heard from him since.
3. Our bunny Marbles died in January this year.
4. My BiL (hubz brother) passed away March this year.
5. I'm expecting No.2 at the end of June this year!
6. Hubz started on a new job January this year and hating it every single day (not the job but the people aspect of it, well some people)

Yes, dramaful times..
What I did not expect was to get preggers again so soon, despite hubz reminders on a daily basis that I'm not THAT young, that I should get it all over & done with as soon as possible. I, on the other hand, at the beginning of the pregnancy, was rid with guilt. That I'm robbing Nia of the attention and undivided love that was there exclusively for her once the new baby comes. Is this common among mums when they get pregnant second, third time around? I initially thought that it was probably a passing phase and I'll get over it, plus also I was still breastfeeding Nia, so I guess I was reluctant and nervous about the fact that I had to wean her off in preparation of latching another one on. How would Nia feel?
Anyways, I continued to breastfeed up to early second trimester, although in between I've tried a couple of methods to wean Nia off (unsuccessfully, of course), until my gynae told me to stop breastfeeding completely as he said since I had early labour scare at 30 weeks with Nia, continuing to breastfeed during pregnancy is not advisable for me, as it may lead to the same thing with this pregnancy. According to him breastfeeding makes your brains produce oxytocin which is the same hormone that helps contract the womb after delivery (hence they say breastfeeding helps you get into shape faster! Yea, right!). If I continue to produce oxytocin throughout my pregnancy, given my past record, it is plausible that I will have an early labour, this time it may not just be a false alarm like the last time!
So that day I went home and had a conversation with Nia. Actually I had conversations with her about it the whole day, that she can no longer breast feed, that she is now a big girl, she was gonna be a che-che soon, she has to drink milk from glass/bottle like the rest of the kids her age. It was SO difficult (for me) that I cried myself to sleep that night, but the same night Nia went to bed after a bottle of formula instead of breast milk. And it has been that way since.
Thank God for that.
I am now 34 weeks.. few more weeks to go before we hold our little girl in our hands.. Yes, it's a girl! Ha ha, so much for all the naming and planning, huh? We do know God will only give us what we deserve, and a girl is an absolute joy.. for now.. let's not think about the teenage years now, shall we? Allow me the next 10 years to prep myself for it..

Mama's a fulltimer now..

I've been lazy these past couple of weeks. Been at home with Nia all day long and super occupied, if you have a toddler, or had one before, I'm sure you know what I mean! So, yes, I've been fulltime mummy these past couple of weeks, since my job was made redundant, and am hoping that will come to an end soon, I mean, the fulltime mummy bit. I really rather be a working mummy who comes back to an excited, loving, manja little girl than staying at home with her 24/7 that I can't even go to bathroom without her in tow! Grrr..

Yes, obviously I've been cooking alot too but have just been too busy to post anything up. The only time I could go online is when Nia's napping, like now. So time's pretty limited and I use it wisely. So to speak. Huh. Been trying to finish reading 'The Queen and I' by Sue Townsend. Hillarious. Can't put it down. But then when Nia's up, can't even pick it up! So, you know, I really got to prioritise, update recipe, or read.. at the end, the latter always win.

Anyways, last weekend, on Friday night, we sent Nia to her grandparents' place, to get her use to staying over there without us, of course. After which hubz and I had a nice dinner in PJ, came home and watched DVD and he was reading till 5am, thinking that he could sleep in till about 10am. But what do you know, at 8am my father called saying Nia hasn't slept the whole night, refusing food & milk and couldn't stop crying. So the two of us rushed off to my folks' place. She was so excited the moment she saw me, rushed to me and kept pointing at my chest. Which means,"milk, mummy, now!"

After the milk session, she was her usual self again, running and dancing, climbing the stairs up & down, and finally ate something. Sigh. How are we going to leave her behind for 10 whole days while we are away?! I'm so worried now. And confused. Ma says maybe I should wean her off breastmilk then it won' t be so difficult on her. But, would that really make a difference? I don't know. I really don't know what I should do. I am not ready to wean her off just yet. I enjoy our private moments of lying together for a feed and playing all the silly games that just mummy and Nia gets to play. Sigh.

Anyways, I'm still going to send her to my folks' this weekend and next and next until she gets used to it. I know we should have done this earlier but then, hey, we enjoy having her around with us on our weekends, it would be so dull without the pitter-pattering of her tiny feet all around the house, excaliming "heyy" when she bumps into you as if she's surprised to see you there, and all the rest of her antics. But still, she needs to get used to staying over my folks otherwise our Canada trip's aint gonna happen, eh?!